The Shocking Revelation

I learned something today, and it rattled me like a loose shutter in a midnight storm. The human let it slip that Goofus — the legend, the saint, the one I’m supposed to measure up to — never had wet food. Not once. Just kibble. Day after day. Year after year. Cheap diner coffee in pellet form.

My Rise Above Kibble

And here I thought the human was civilized. Now, I’ve already smashed that ceiling to pieces. The canned stuff is mine every morning, and meanwhile the kibble is just a grazing snack to tide me over between late afternoon and the next sunrise.

The Cat Wet Food vs Kibble Debate

This whole cat wet food vs kibble debate keeps me awake at night. In fact, I can’t shake the thought — what if he tries to cut me off? What if one day the cans dry up, and all that’s left is a bowl of sawdust rations rattling around in front of me?

He says wet food is “too much trouble” and “Goofus did fine without it.” However, once upon a time humans rode horses through the rain, but now they drive trucks with heaters. Progress, pal.

My Final Word

He swears it won’t happen. He tries to look me square in the eye like he means it. But I’ve seen that look before — the kind that says he’s tempted to turn back the clock.

Well, let him try. In the end, I’ll starve before I chew sawdust again.

—Luna 🐾