The evidence is thin — like his shirt fabric after Goofus went to work. I don’t do biscuits. I do damage.
The Human’s Fashion Statement
The human has a new routine. Every time he comes home, he changes shirts. Claims he needs one of his “cat shirts” because my claws are shredding his wardrobe. He even blames me for ruining his jeans. Apparently those cost more, and he doesn’t have spares to sacrifice.
Goofus Did It First
But here’s the kicker — he says this is all thanks to Goofus. She had a habit of “making biscuits” on his chest, leaving hundreds of little holes in his shirts. Now every scratch, snag, and tear gets pinned on me, even though I’ve never once played that stupid ritual.
I Don’t Do Biscuits
Sure, I may come in a little hot when I climb into his lap, but biscuits? Not my style. I’ve got claws, I use them with purpose. Goofus might’ve been a saint in his eyes, but I’m not living in her shadow. If I hear that dame mentioned one more time, I swear the fur will fly.
Case File Conclusion
So yeah, the human can rotate through “cat shirts” and whine about his jeans all he wants. I’m not the one stuck in the past. He is. And sooner or later, he’ll learn this case isn’t about Goofus — it’s about me.
—Luna 🐾
